A Godly Home

12/18/2008 at 4:41 pm (bible, home)

We’ve recently been listening to the “Godly Home” tape series from the Charity Ministries. You can download all the sermons as mp3s at that link, or you can call or write and request the series on tape or CD.

It is a very good series of messages.

The last several ones we’ve listened to have been about raising children. Noel and I have long wished for children, but God has not blessed us with them yet. While we are sad that we have had to wait so long, we are also happy in that we now have a much better idea of how to raise the children that God will bless us with some day.

There are two points where Noel and I’s ideas about child rearing differ from the world’s that have been much on my mind lately.

The first is the false idea that children do not need to be disciplined below a certain age. We’ve seen this time and time again. Little children two or three years old having the run of everything and doing whatever they so choose despite what mother or father may say. And you can often here the parents complain, “What can we do? They just don’t understand.”

The parents seem to think that as the child gets older they will “understand” and obey later on. But our 12 years of observation (along with personal experience) shows that this is absolutely not true. A child must be taught from the moment they are born to obey the parents, or they will not (unless for some reason they want to) when they get older.

In the tape we listened to last night (07A The Training of the Will), Brother Kenny dealt specifically with that issue. And it was a blessing to hear someone else say the things we’ve been thinking for a while now.

The other issue that has been in my thoughts lately, is this whole “cry it out” thing that’s been going around.

Suffice to say that it is absolutely heart-breaking to those of us who’ve wished for children for so long to see other parents who have been so blessed but who seem to think the best way to rear their children is to ignore them.

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3 Comments

  1. mrsabbott said,

    I agree with you on the discipline and teaching of your children at a very early age. Giulia is 8 months old and I’ve smacked her hand and told her NO for trying to play with things that are dangerous for her. My 2 and 4 year old get spanked with a paddle (if the offense warrents it). They also ask to be excused from the dinner table, say please and thank you, and calls adults “Miss ____” or “Mister ____”. People often remark on how well behaved my children are, but are then put off when they find out that I spank them.

    As for crying it out.. I don’t know exactly what age you are talking about here, but starting at about 1 year of age, my girls started having crying fits. Temper tantrums I suppose you could call them, but they aren’t kicking and screaming in an angry way. Mainly just whining and crying when they don’t get their own way. That is when I send them to their room until their “hearts are happy”. They will sit up there and cry for however long it takes and when they are ready to come down with a smile on their face and a happy heart, then they are allowed to. I ignore their crying at that point because it is manipulation.

    Babies, on the other hand, use crying as a form of communication. After awhile, I can determine what kind of cry it is. Some sort of innate mom sense tells me if it’s a hungry cry, a fighting sleep cry, a hurt cry, a poopy diaper cry, a wanting to be held cry..

    I only ignore the fighting sleep cry, which usually only lasts a few minutes but will last for hours if I continually go in there! LOL!

    Of course, ever child is different as every parent is different. I think it’s wonderful that you are preparing and learning things now because so many parents go into it flying by the seat of their pants. I learned so much before I had children by working with the kids in the mental health hospital. It’s like a crash course on how NOT to parent your children and what to do to bring them around! :)

  2. Nick Wright said,

    “As for crying it out.. I don’t know exactly what age you are talking about here …”

    By “cry it out” I am referring to young babies who are forced to cry themselves to sleep every night while the “parent” ignores the child.

    I understand that children will eventually learn to use crying as a selfish “give me what I want now!” thing. But it is important that parents recognize that, and — I believe — discipline that out of the child as early as possible.

  3. Clair Schwan of Frugal Living Freedom said,

    A good observation is that some parents don’t have the guts it takes to raise a child. I believe in all thing deliberate – being capably and prepared, selecting a mate, having children, raising children, preparing your children for life, etc. To do otherwise is irresponsible.

    This silly social engineering, where others (including the government) think they have a say in our lives, (and frown upon discipline) is a bunch of meddling that has no place in America. It takes a parent to raise a child – it takes a village to interfere.

    Clair

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